What a fortnight. Last time Dooley breezed by these parts, he or she couldn’t quite remember the details of BRITs night. So, in the interests of research, he or she has spent the last two weeks obsessively re-watching the ITV broadcast in an attempt to piece everything together.

We didn’t learn much to be honest, except that Rihanna’s lightshow didn’t work any better on TV than it did in the O2. But it did tell us which execs managed to ...